Tender Mercies

I think it’s been about three weeks since I heard Laresa’s great lesson on the tender mercies of the Lord, and I’ve been thinking about it off and on ever since. Although I’ve faithfully kept a gratitude journal for the past dozen years or so, I’m wondering if I should start a tender mercies one too. Mercies and blessings are kind of the same thing…and kind of not. I’m grateful for the sun, the moon, the stars, my trusty car, Emma’s cute zaniness, and having been born of goodly parents (for starters). I’m grateful also for tender mercies like a hug when I need one, a song that touches my heart and soul, and sudden insight into a vexing problem.

Does it really matter if they’re (blessings and mercies) the same, different, or overlapping? No. What matters is that I (we) be ever mindful of the beneficence of a loving Heavenly Father and that we thank Him for it. Often we go about our daily lives failing to see the divine in the ordinary or the hand of God in a so-called coincidence. 

My most recent HUGE blessing is the birth of my grandson Colton. It was through the tender mercies of the Lord that his mother sailed through his birth without undue stress or complication. Before and since Colton’s arrival, I’ve experienced a multitude of other blessings and mercies including:

·         Dining with Mike and Lisa the moment Colton was born and being able to share the news with them

·         Cell phones

·         Cars, especially a certain trustworthy one that’s already taken me to Savannah twice since Colton’s birth

·         A great job that allows me the flexibility of leave days to visit the new baby

·         iPods. While driving, I’ve been listening to books and music, mainly the latter

·         A warm, comfortable home

·         Rich and Amanda

·         Green, turquoise, and hot pink

·         Teachings of the church that keep me on the straight and narrow…most of the time

·         Living in America. For all of its challenges, it’s still the best country on Earth to live .

·         Computers

·         Flowers, especially pansies. They remind me that even something pretty and seemingly delicate can be tough enough to survive even the coldest of winters.

·         Words. Learned a new one today: spume. Maybe I’ll see some the next time I go to the beach.

·         Books

·         Lib’s beauty and poise

·         Paul’s work ethic and blue eyes

·         Carrie’s strength

·         Friends

·         Spending Friday and most of Saturday with my sister on a road trip to Rincon

·         Memories of Braden, Brooke, and Emma dancing with wild, uninhibited abandon

I’m trying to see and appreciate my many blessings and tender mercies. I’ve even learned that sometimes when our hearts are broken and things are going entirely the wrong way, it can be a blessing in disguise. More on this later.

One Brave Decision

I’m pretty psyched up about the Bible study of Esther that I’ve been attending, and although I’ve blogged about it on my other blog (http://evessisters.blogspot.com), I decided to put some thoughts on this site too. I’m still trying to figure out exactly how to use and manage my blogs because although I’m interested in seeing and applying Biblical principles in day-do-day life, I also want to include secular, regular thoughts about health, family, flowers, work, stress, exercise, travel, and so forth. Hence, two blogs, this one about family and friends and fudge and the other about spiritual applications. It’s likely there’ll be some overlap because of my interests, but still….

 

As I mentioned a week or so ago, I’ve been attending a Bible study on Esther, and for the last several days, I’ve been thinking about how her decision to go before the king changed not only her destiny but the destiny of her people. In verses 11-16 of the 4th chapter, a major transition takes place in a woman’s life that changes her life and those of others. Although she was afraid, Esther considered the words of Mordecai and realized that indeed perhaps she had “come to the kingdom for such a time as this.” Think about this: A major transition could come into your life too!!!

I like to picture Esther as she walks out of the women’s area into the king’s presence. At some point, she must have turned a corner and realized, perhaps trembling, that there was no turning back. She’s dressed in her royal robe, her queenly attire, and when Ahasuerus sees her standing in the court, he addresses her as Queen Esther. Queen Esther, not just plain old Esther. She’s put thought into her appearance, and her attention to detail does not go unnoticed by the king. He seems pleased to see her, extends his scepter, and asks for her request.

Esther faced the fear. Have you? Will you? Just think about it. You could very well be one brave decision away from the most important turn in your entire life path. Sometimes we have to square our shoulders, hold our heads high and march forward to see the king…or his equivalent. As the class was watching Beth Moore on DVD, I thought of my daughter Carrie and how courageous she has been at certain points in her life.

After graduating from college, she lived at home for only a short time and then moved to Georgetown BY HERSELF. She was teaching at an elementary school there, and while it made perfect sense to live in the town where she worked, it was hard for me to accept. Fear of what could happen to this young 23 year old stalked me day and night. I shuddered to think of her going home there alone after work. She didn’t even have any friends there at first, but as the weeks passed, she made friends and adjusted to her job.

After tasting independence for a season, Carrie decided it was time to find that special someone. What did she do? She moved farther away, this time to Charleston. With this move, she had a roommate, and that alleviated some of my anxiety. Still, it was a bigger area, more traffic, more crime…you get the picture. I was a nervous Nellie. I was the one who needed to take lessons from Esther, not Carrie.

I’m not sure of the timeline, but I think she’d been there less than two weeks when she met Rich, her future husband. Recently graduated from the University of Utah, he was now an officer in the Navy who had just reported to the Charleston Naval Base. They both found the Singles Ward in North Charleston and met at church. That was ten years ago. They’re now the busy parents of four active preschoolers, one a precious newborn, and it all happened because Carrie faced the fear and made one of the most important decisions in her life, one that will affect her and her progeny forever.

In the DVD portion of the Bible study, Beth Moore reminded us that no one in our lives is a greater deterrent to our destiny more than we are to ourselves. Like Esther and Carrie, you may be one important decision away from your destiny. It could be a life and death situation like Esther’s, a relocation decision like Carrie’s, or something as seemingly small as making a phone call, enrolling in a course, or starting a blog.

YOU are in charge of your destiny. What are some choices that you’ve already made that required courage? How did you do it? What were/are some of the ramifications of that decision? Off the top of my head, I can think of Anita’s decision to move to Oklahoma, Hayden’s to say YES to her dream, and Connie’s to start a blog. And you???

Colton’s Arrival

I just glanced at the clock and realized that for the first time in a dozen years, I’m inside of a house puttering around instead of participating in the Myrtle Beach Marathon. With my track record, I’d probably be around Broadway at the Beach about now along with my slow pals at the back of the pack. I didn’t even register for the event this year, and I have a perfectly valid reason. Carrie’s Colton was due on February 17th, so I figured I’d be needed in Savannah to help her out with the other three bambinos.

And I was right. Colton Edward arrived around 6:00 last night, all 9 lbs. and 9 oz. of his chubby little self. Judging by his picture that his dad sent to my cell phone, he’s  healthy little bruiser. Lib and I are headed east to see him in about an hour, and we’re both anxious to see him up close and personal (I’ve never seen a baby that big) and to ascertain for ourselves that his mother is fine.

So I won’t be walking/jogging along Ocean Boulevard, King’s Highway, and 21st Avenue today with the marathon crowd; I’ll be heading to GA to see my youngest grandson. I won’t be getting the medal at the finish line; I’ll be getting a good look at a beautiful baby.

Weekend in Atlanta

 

I’m switching gears to write a totally secular post, one about spending the weekend with Paul and Amanda, my son and daughter-in-law. They live in the bustling metropolis of Atlanta, and this time last week DH and I made the trip to see them.  Shortly after our arrival on Friday, we went to Philips Arena to see the Atlanta Thrashers play the New Jersey Devils.

 Although I’m not into sports as much as the three of them, I must admit that I enjoyed the experience, especially the high energy excitement of the crowd and the sight of the hockey p layers swirling around on the ice. Heck, I even enjoyed walking from the parking garage past the CNN building to the arena. With the crowd surging all around us, we couldn’t help but feel the upbeat anticipation of the competition ahead. Back to the event itself, DH enjoyed watching the scantily clad young women skate around as they swept up the ice shavings and shoveled them into buckets. Did I mention that up until game time a couple of eateries were selling hot dogs, drinks, and popcorn for $1? It’s true. That’s what I call dinner on a shoestring.  Although the arena wasn’t completely filled, the next day’s newspaper reported that there were 17, 067 (as well as I recall) people there.

The next morning, I got up early and went for a walk along Roswell Road. I try to walk every day, and I especially like doing it in different locales. I’m convinced that it’s the best way to become familiar with an area. Plus, it gives me the chance to see new things up close and personal…so much better than from a car window. I’m sitting here at the computer visualizing that busy intersection near Hardee’s and remembering how I had to hustle across the road.  

Later in the morning, Paul served as our tour guide as he drove DH and me around to see various sights. Right away, I again saw the so-called king and queen buildings that Amanda had pointed out the night before; they’re called that because the tops are like the king and queen chess pieces.  I managed to cajole Paul into taking me to Home Goods, my favorite store for all sorts of decorative items from pillows to furniture. I love the one in Myrtle Beach, but the one in Sandy Springs is newer and bigger. And yes, we found a few treasures…all on clearance of course.

Amanda had to work until a little after 1:00, and after she got home, we again jumped in the car and rode to Conyers where Paul had discovered a restaurant he’d been wanting to try, Folks. The food was good, Southern fare, but the service was lousy. Sorry I had to say that, but really….even patient, tolerant me got annoyed.

Appetites satisfied, we headed to Marietta. I was particularly excited about going there because not only Paul and Amanda, but also Carrie and Rich have fallen in love with this community, at least the downtown part of it. Sometimes there’s just something about a place that speaks to your soul, and I wanted to see what was so special about this area that spoke to my children. In October, they all spent an afternoon in the town square participating in a fall festival. Two of my grandchildren, Braden and Brooke, won a dance contest that day, and it was cool to see the stage on which they received their award a few months prior. On Saturday, we browsed several little shops with lots of atmosphere and then strolled through and around the square.

After a couple of hours, we left Marietta and headed back to Sandy Springs. Paul took the long way home so that we could see more of the area. We rode through Roswell itself, and they pointed out a restaurant where they’d recently dined, the Fickle Pickle. I plan to go back there at some point. Who can resist walking into a restaurant with such a catchy name?

After hanging out and chatting a bit at their apartment, we again went out to eat, this time at Mimi’s, a restaurant with a New Orleans atmosphere. I tasted strawberry lemonade for the first time. Ummm. Yes, you’re right. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. After dinner, Paul and Amanda demonstrated how to use the Wii, and we enjoyed watching them. DH and I are probably two of the few American citizens who’ve never played on or with (which preposition?), but we now understand why people are so wild about it.

Sunday dawned, and we all went to church together.  Their ward was having Ward Conference, and I enjoyed hearing what Paul and Amanda’s stake leaders had to say. The choir sang one of my favorite hymns, “Called to Serve.” Anyone who can hear that soul stirring song and be unmoved is…well, beyond reach.

The young couple walked us to the parking lot where we hugged farewell. I always hate parting with my children, but as I read many years ago, “In every good bye, there’s the promise of another hello. “ I’ll see them again soon.

Thank you for a lovely weekend, P and A. A special thanks to Paul for driving, driving, driving us all over creation.

Be Brave

As I mentioned in my other blog http://evessisters.blogspot.com, I’ve started attending a Bible study class on the book of Esther at one of the local Baptist churches.  While I’m planning to put most of what I feel, think, and learn about Esther on that site, there was just something so powerful, so strong, so soul-stirring about last night’s class that I want to share it on this blog as well. In fact, I’ve been thinking about one of the concepts on and off throughout the day. 

Last night we were asked if we knew what the most frequent command in the Bible was. Not certain, I kept quiet…and so did everyone else. I thought it might be something akin to “Love one another,” but I was dead wrong. The most frequent command in the Old and New Testaments is “Don’t be afraid.”  I was surprised, shocked actually. If it wasn’t about loving and serving others or bridling our tongues, then surely it was about some sin or another.  But no, some version of “Fear not” is the most common instruction from Genesis through Revelation.

Beth Moore, the person who wrote the materials for the course on Esther, has also produced a series of videos that accompany the workbook.  They are marvelous, and she is phenomenally inspiring. Last night she asked her audience to think of the thing(s) they were most afraid of in the world. Was it illness? Old age? Alzheimer’s? What about something happening to one of your children? Or what about your husband or sweetheart losing interest in you? What if, what if, what if????  

She then walked us through this scenario. “What if my husband becomes less attracted to me? What if he finds another woman, someone prettier and smarter and younger? What if my children like her? I’ll just die, that’s what I’ll do. And I’ll weep and wail and have a hissy fit. I’ll go to bed and not get up for weeks. I’ll never get over it. Never. I’ll be sad and mad for the rest of my life. I’ll try to poison him. I’ll slit her tires. Then I’ll scream and cry some more. And then I’ll brush off my shoulders and go back to work.”

Ms. Moore  then asked us to look at our workbooks and fill in the blanks of this phrase:  “And if __________, then _________. “ I think just about all of us started to put “I perish” in both of the empty blanks since those were Esther’s words. However, we were told to write one of our worst fears and then “God ” in the second one.  

If my husband leaves me, then God.
If something happens to one of my children, then God.
If I lose my job, then God.
If I receive a fatal diagnosis from my doctor, then God.
If I go into labor and my doctor is out of town, then God. (this one’s for Carrie)

God doesn’t promise that He won’t let “bad” things happen sometimes or that trouble will never visit you, but He does promise that HE WILL BE WITH YOU.  He says, “Trust me, not trust me not to let it happen but TRUST ME.”

As I watched and listened to the video, I was spellbound.  As DH can attest, I’m a worry wart, especially when it comes to my children. What if Carrie goes into labor while Rich is at work? What if Elizabeth gets in an accident on her way home tonight? What if Paul gets in an accident as he maneuvers the extremely busy highways in and around Atlanta? And don’t even get me started with the grandchildren. What if?? If __________, then God.

“Be brave. Be brave. Be brave,” Beth (I don’t think she’d object to the first name basis) said three times with feeling. Honestly, I don’t think there was a woman there who was unmoved.

My daughter Carrie is days (maybe hours) away from delivering her baby boy, and as the days pass, she’s becoming increasingly anxious. What if the doctor is not on call? What if he’s out of town? What if they can’t make it to Savannah on time? What if someone who’s lined up to help with the children can’t come over while she’s in the hospital?

I called her this morning and told her about last night’s lesson and reminded her that IF _______, THEN GOD.  He’s with her now and will be with her then. She just needs to have courage and fear not…and so does her mother.  Be brave Carrie. Be brave.

First Noble Truth

I snapped this picture of the American Society of Buddhist Studies  on my recent trip to New York. One of my brothers likes to harass me about the statue of Buddha that’s sitting atop my grandmother’s secretary. In fact, whenever he comes to visit, he usually turns Buddha around to face the wall. No matter how much I protest, I think Mike thinks I worship idols, but this is completely erroneous. Money, fame, fortune, huge homes, expensive cars, looks, possessions, degrees, movie stars, rock stars, super athletes, etc. are more idolized than my cream colored statue of Buddha.

Although I bought little Buddha for the aesthetic value, I must admit that looking at the statue never fails to conjure up the reasons why I developed an interest in him in the first place. It was through a book. Imagine that. Years ago, I read The Road Less Traveled by Dr. Scott Peck, a book that I still find myself referring to from time to time. It’s what I call a “deep” book, not one you can read once and put aside. The subtitle, “a new psychology of love, traditional values, and spiritual growth” prepares the reader for what’s ahead.

I knew very little about Buddha in 1980, but after reading Peck’s introduction, I did a little research. Here are a few lines from the beginning of The Road:

“Life is difficult.
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.* It is a great truth because once we truly see its truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. …
Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. …
Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them?”

*The first of the “Four Noble Truths” which Buddha taught was “Life is suffering.”

I could go on and on and on about this. For today, I’ll just say that I learned more about Buddha and his truths and the eightfold path. One of the many things I learned is that one cause of suffering is desire. If you want to suffer less, desire less. Sometimes I think our greedy materialism, the desire for more and more “stuff,”  leads to suffering. The more we get, the more we want. It’s an endless, never quenchable cycle. It’s as if the worship of “idols” mentioned above is the cause of much suffering. Buddha says, like many of the great teachers, to renounce and enjoy. We say, as Americans, that we want more, more, more.

So I glance at Buddha and remember not to moan or whine. Life is suffering, and while I have problems like everyone else, I’m going to try to solve them instead of whine about them.

P.S.  You wouldn’t believe how lovely the statue looks contrasted with the russet red walls. Stunning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Website Help

Last year I went to a SC Writer’s Workshop in Myrtle Beach, and one of the things I learned is the value of self-promotion. I’m not a forward person so this was/is hard for me, yet I realized that if I ever wanted to get my work “out there,” I needed to do a little something to give it a nudge. So I came home and developed a website and have been playing around with it ever since. In On Writing, Stephen King says you need a First Reader, and in my case, I had several of them. Jeanita, however, offered the best food for thought when she asked, “What are you trying to do with it? I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do when I read it.”

Ah, eye opener. Thanks Jeanita. What I want to do is to make my transition into retirement a little easier, a little less scary. I’m using the next couple of years to ease into it so that on DAY ONE, I don’t wake up feeling purposeless. 

That said, the major purpose of the website is to sell some books, and as a means of doing so, I’m willing to meet with various groups to discuss principles in the book. For those not interested in reading about the spiritual musings of a missionary mom, I’d be happy to meet with community, church, or other interest groups to discuss topics like health, goal setting, improving mental health, overcoming depression, leading a more effective life, finding happiness and just about any other psychological topic. I’m about maxed out on the neural impulse though. Just so you’ll know.

Another reason for the website is to give my other writing projects a preliminary workout. Right now, for instance, I have a couple of book ideas and am interested in stories, anecdotes, illustrations, and other types of contributions from you. At the present, I have a contest going on about LOVE that ends on February 28. There’s a prize for the winner whose entry will be featured on the website and in the forthcoming book, The Spell Was Cast.

So please check it out at www.jaynebowers.com and give me some feedback at bowersj55@hotmail.com or bowers.jayne@yahoo.com.  What do I need to do to make it more user friendly? What should I do to make the purpose more clear? If you have any suggestions to help improve  improve the look of the site, please send them along to one of the email addresses. And be kind; use some tact. Like everyone else, I’m tender on the inside.

And please, please, please enter the contest.