Christmas Memories

This is one of the many pictures we took during the few days that my children were here for Christmas, and I think it’s the only one in which we were all present and accounted for…except for Rich, that is. My sweet son-in-law agreed to take this shot, and then he changed places with my husband who took one with Rich in it. 

We had just enjoyed a few hours of family fun with various relatives…playing Christmas trivia, watching a spiritual video, munching on brunch delectables, exchanging gifts, and reminiscing. My brother-in-law Allen treated us to his one of his specialities, barbeque, something that’s become a traditional food at our holiday get togethers. My nephew Greg brought Anna to our gala event, a young woman to whom he had become engaged only hours before. My brother Mike delighted everyone by bringing his waffle iron and putting it to good use.

Before we started our Chinese white elephant gift exchange, my Aunt Polly and her daughter Katherine stopped by for coffee and conversation. I LOVE listening to Polly because she always tells neat stories and reminds me of my past. Being around her conjured up memories of  dozens of Christmases Past. Ah, those chocolate-coated coconut balls that my grandmother made were so sweet and savory, and I always looked forward to sampling them. She used to make peanut brittle too, and Polly brought canisters of it for my siblings and our families.

 So many people who were in my life at one time are no longer present except in my mind, my memory. At the same time, decades ago when I was nibbling on my grandmother’s chocolate balls and dreaming of Santa’s visits, NONE of the people in the picture above were in my life. Even now I wonder who will be in next year’s picture…perhaps someone I haven’t even met yet.

Romney Rebounds; Huckabee Reacts

So far, I’ve refrained from posting any opinions or beliefs about the Presidential candidates. Even when Huckabee’s ”innocent” question about whether Mormons believed that Christ and Satan were brothers was posed AFTER the interview was completed, I remained quiet. Even when I read later descriptions of him as “smarmy” for asking the question in such a deliberately contrived way so as to appear actually concerned, I held back. Later still, I read that the reason Huckabee didn’t know the answer to that question and many others is because he left seminary after one year, and I still refused to comment.  One year of seminary. Amazing, especially when I consider that I know numbers of people who are voting for him, not because he’s the best candidate for the job, but because he’s an ordained Baptist minister…after one year of seminary.  

So why am I writing about him now? Because earlier today I read that he called Romney a dishonest politician. Hello! Has anyone out there heard about the folly of throwing stones and living in glass houses? Huckabee conceded that he may have been hurt by Romney’s ads and mailings criticizing his record as governor of Arkansas and then suggested that voters could not trust a person who had been so dishonest in his attempts to get the job (as President).  The truth is that Romney has rebounded in Iowa, and Huckabee, now that he has come under greater scrutiny, has slipped.

 Do we vote for a person because of gender, race, or religion…or even looks? Do we NOT vote for someone for those very reasons? In the words of Billy Mitchum whose letter was published in today’s The State newspaper, “Let me have a person who can lead our foreign policy, economic policy, immigration policy, energy policy, and all other policies, while dealing effectively with a Congress more interested in its petty political agendas than in the needs of our country. For my part, I will vote for the person I consider to be a leader, and leave questions of faith and religion to the one who will finally judge us all.”

Here, Here, Mr. Mitchell. I’m with you.

Greetings from Biltmore

Isn’t this a great photo? It’s of my siblings and our spouses a couple of weeks ago at the Biltmore House in Asheville, NC. We had just toured the huge house with its magnificent Christmas decorations and were sauntering around on the grounds with about a million other visitors…or so it seemed to us. 

Looking at the picture this morning conjures up all sorts of memories including a scrumptious meal at the Deerpark restaurant, lots of chatting and remininscing as we meandered our way through the mansion, and sampling pretzels and apple cider at the winery. The next morning six of us attended First Baptist Church in Spartanburg before going our separate ways because we thought worshipping together would be a fantastic way to usher in this most holy time of the year.

The other day I came across a commentary on extravagant Christmas letters by Garrison Keillor. It was splendid, and until you have a chance to read it for yourself, I’m going to quote a few lines that fit the eight of us. “Dear Friends. We are getting older but are in fairly good shape and moving forward insofar as we can tell….We go on working and hope to be adequate to the challenges of the coming year but are by no means confident. It’s winter. God is around here somewhere but does not appear to be guiding our government at the moment. Nonetheless we persist. We see kindness all around us and bravery and we are cheered by the good humor of  young people. The crabapple tree over the driveway is bare, but we have a memory of pink blossoms and expect them to return. Good bless you all.”

Just so you’ll know, some of those young people referred to above are our children, and others are my youthful blogging buddies. Oh, and in case you want to read this and other great Christmas stories, poems, hymns, and commentaries, you’ll find a treasure trove of such readings in Caroline Kennedy’s A Family Christmas.

Physical & Spiritual Feast

Last week’s Relief Society social was both a temporal and a spiritual feast. The meal was delicious, and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, we were served luscious brownies with a warm raspberry sauce. Yummy. As we dined, I noticed the beautiful music in the background and later learned that it had been provided by a talented musician in our ward.

After the scrumptious meal, we were spiritually fed by a number of speakers and musical selections, and of all that I heard and saw, the words of one of the speakers really touched my heart. She was talking about Christ and how we must find not only the infant Jesus, but Jesus the man…the fisher of men, the teacher, the leader, the healer and the friend. I was scrambling to find a pen to write down her words, but Laresa made it easy for me and gave me the paper she was reading from.

Here’s the reminder that I needed to hear and that I suspect others might too. “We will find Him with the leper, the adulterer, the crippled, and the sick.” Christ didn’t associate with only the righteous, the socially prominent, or those who were of his background. Without judgment, He associated with and gave willingly to everyone in need. Can we do less and call ourselves Christians?

Gail’s Christmas Card

Several years ago, we had a farewell get-together for some of our friends who were leaving the area, and that night Gail gave all of us a Christmas ornament and a beautiful card. I loved the card so much that I framed it, and every year I take it out and display it in a prominent area in our home so that our guests will be reminded of the “reason for the season.” I also enjoy hanging the Santa ornament because it reminds me of Gail and other dear friends who have touched my life. In fact, sharing this Christmas greeting is a way of Gail touching your life too. Below is the card’s message. Enjoy.

And when we give each
other Christmas gifts in
His name, let us remember
that He has given us the
sun and the moon and the
stars, and the earth with
its forests and mountains
and oceans – and all that lives
and moves upon them.
He has given us all green
things and everything that
blossoms and bears fruit,
and all that we quarrel
about and all that we
have misused – and to save us
from our own
foolishness, from all our
sins, He came down to earth
and gave us Himself.
Sigrid Undset

Cookies for my Neighbor

The last couple of weeks have been SO BUSY that I haven’t had the time to post some of the things that are close to my heart, especially this time of year.

As I ponder the birth of the Savior and what his life and atoning sacrifice mean to us, it makes me want to redouble my efforts to “do good to all men.”  I’m great about taking care of my husband, children, grandchildren, siblings, in-laws, and friends, but what about “those other people?” You know who I’m talking about, don’t you? The people who might not have quite as much $$ as you do. Those who are lonely or old or sick or all three. Those who are away from family and friends. Children without parents. Aren’t all of  these people God’s children too?

This morning I can’t stop thinking about a lady in our neighborhood who’s always walking her dog and “accidently” letting go of the leash, thereby causing the pooch to scamper around in our yard, making it impossible to ignore either of them. She and I have had several conversations because of her little dog, and I can’t remember even one in which I wasn’t rushed or annoyed (at the intrusion on my time). I feel like a selfish creep just saying that. Hmmm. For me, it looks like some “soul work” is in order. It doesn’t matter whether a person is deserving or not. What matters is that we better try to emulate the Savior and His love for others, now and always.

Yesterday I read this quote from Bonnie Parkin on LDS Gems, and it seems perfect for this post. “We must make every effort to follow His supreme example–to demonstrate such love through our thoughts, our speech, our actions–in all the things we do and are. We must not allow pride or vanity, selfishness or personal agendas to displace our reaching out to others in love. Quite simply and profoundly, we must first allow ourselves to be encircled by God’s love. We do this best by embracing the Savior’s eternal Atonement. Then we can expand that circle to include our family and all others. Such a circle is indeed heaven.”  (Bonnie D. Parkin, “Eternally Encircled in His Love,” Ensign, Nov. 2006, 110)

I’m going to bake some cookies for my neighbor. I might even buy one of those cute little sweaters for her dog. What about you? What can you do to better follow Christ’s example?

P.S. to Elizabeth’s Career Choice

Although yesterday’s post might seem finished, it’s not. I was interrupted five or six times while trying to get my thoughts together, and I finally just thought “good enough” and posted it. The essence, however, of the message seems to be missing, so I’m going to try to correct that in the next few minutes. I say “try” because it’s the end of the semester, and I’ve had a lot of visitors…and inquiries about grades.

According to the scriptures, we each have gifts and we are to cultivate and use those gifts in a way that would best serve God and our fellow human beings. When I look around, I’m amazed at the variety of talents and abilities that people have, and sometimes I’m a little saddened too. Why? Either because people don’t realize how gifted they are, or they do realize it but cannot or will not do what it takes to get into a career that utilizes those abilities.

While it’s true that working is a way of making a living, it can easily become a way of making a life. Everything from the people you associate with, how you spend your time, what you think about, and what you actually do or produce mold and make you into the person you are becoming. Somebody Famous (Thoreau maybe?) once said that most people live lives of quiet desperation, and if that’s true, I think one reason could be that they’re in the wrong career.

When Elizabeth was a teenager and then later a college student, she worked at a variety of jobs including stints at an ice cream and sandwich shop, an eye doctor’s office, and even a day care facility. At one time she thought being a detective might be exciting, and then later she and a friend considered opening a gift shop. However, none of those fields are right for her. As a person who loves to learn and share ideas with others, teaching is perfect for her. Add the fact that she relates well to youngsters, and the profession seems ideal. And did I mention the pace of the academic calendar? She likes that too. Not too many careers allow two weeks off at Christmas, a week during the spring, and summers (if you can afford it).

I’m not exaggerating when I say that EVERYDAY I talk with someone who is unhappy with his or her job. Oh, the person might like the $$$ or the people she works with, but the work itself is not a good match for her. When I suggest changing careers even if it means additional training, most people sort of shrug. “It’s a living,” they say. It’s more than a living; it’s a life, and no one can afford to let fear, ignorance, other people, or lack of motivation hold her back.

I earnestly feel that we’re obligated to find out what our unique gifts are and then use them to improve the lives of others. In case you think I’m referring to only paid vocations, I’m not. Stay-at-home mothers are preparing children for their lives in a way that no one else can. Volunteers provide services to thousands of people. Money isn’t the issue; living your life in accordance with His plan is.

Catching Her Breath

My daughter Elizabeth is in the right career. A middle school teacher, she has her share of “grief,” but she also enjoys moments of magic. At least that’s how I describe them. Her students were recently studying different religions, including Hinduism and Buddhism, as part of a social studies unit. They were amazed to realize that concepts of both religions were also part of Christianity, particularly the areas dealing with relationships. Buddha’s Eightfold Path was especially intriguing to them. As they read about kindness, love, and fairness, they looked at each other as if to say, “This is not that different from what I believe.” Then a couple of weeks later, the class was watching a televised segment of a news program, and the word karma was used by one of the commentators. Elizabeth said the students were thrilled at recognizing a word used on the program, and their excitement was contagious because she felt herself getting a little excited too.

When she told me this story, I recalled a phrase I read years ago written by a master teacher. I’ll have to paraphrase, but the gist of it is, “When I find myself with people who are beginning to breathe, occasionally I find myself catching my breath with them.” In my opinion, any teacher worth his or her salt (whatever that means exactly) should feel the same way.

Mutually Beneficial Solutions

I was cleaning out my desk drawer this morning and came across something that I can’t toss even though it’s ten years old. It’s a small notepad entitled “49 Days to a More Effective Life,” and in it are 49 instructional and inspirational quotes that serve as reminders to practice win/win, communicate more clearly, be proactive, and so forth. A memento from a seven-week workshop/seminar based on Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the pad reminds me of the time spent organizing and presenting the sessions and of the people I had the opportunity to work with.

Interestingly, the quote I flipped to right away is based on Covey’s win/win approach to conflict resolution, and it was just what I needed to read. I think it might be a good one for you too. Here goes: “Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying….A person with a Win/Win attitude sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena.”

While there are certainly situations in which a mutually satisfying and beneficial solution is not possible, more often than not a win/win outcome is attainable IF the parties want it and are willing to work towards it. Sometimes people want to have their way regardless of how much it alienates or even hurts others. Then too, there are folks who are willing to give in to others just to have harmony.  But think about it. What’s the point of winning if everyone around you is sad, mad, or scared? And what kind of “harmony” is there if you’re always giving in or giving up?

Are there some situations in your life that could be resolved in a mutually beneficial way? I think I resolved one in that manner yesterday, and that’s why this little notepad with its words of wisdom struck me with such force.

Welcome Home

Connie called before 6:00 this morning, and even before I answered the phone, I knew who was calling…and why. She wanted me to know that our friend Dorothy had died about 45 minutes earlier after fighting a fierce battle against cancer. Not willing to go “gently into that good night,” for months her indomitable spirit had persevered. She was so tough! Gentle too. And spiritual and mannerly and funny. We all loved her wit and her graciousness.

The last time I talked with Dorothy was over a week ago, and although she was sedated, she knew someone was in the room and asked her husband, “Is someone here?” When Tracy replied that I was there, she said, “Hi Jayne. Sorry.” Isn’t that amazing? Even in her suffering, Dorothy cared for the comfort and ease of others and was actually apologizing to me for not being able to chat. A couple of days later, visits were restricted to immediate family, medical personnel, and the clergy, so that was the last time I heard her voice.

We’ve had tons of chats over the last five years, however, and I LOVED her accent. From England, Dorothy never lost her British accent, and no matter what she said, the words somehow sounded cooler coming from her lips. At the moment I’m remembering a closing prayer that she once gave in Sacrament meeting in which she asked for peace to cover the earth. I think of the dozens and dozens of Relief Society lessons I heard her present, all of them well-prepared and excellent. Then too, she was a faithful member of our New Horizons Book Club and always had some unique commentary to offer.

I wanted to write something comforting for Tracy, Sarah, the grandchildren, Connie, and all of the other people who loved Dorothy Popham, but I’m stumped. Although there is nothing that can take away the pain, I’d like to share an image that I can’t shake from my mind. It’s of a small card that a Relief Society teacher gave to her class members one day many years ago. On it was a beautiful painting of Christ embracing a person, and at the bottom of the card were the words, “Welcome Home.” Dorothy has received that hug; she’s home. I hope her family and friends find some solace in that thought.